This post was originally written in 2014 as a follow-up to this post. I am now at a place of peace and can finally share the carnival ride that is packing, moving, unpacking, and everything in between. Please note that more posts on our emotional roller coaster that is selling, moving and buying again are to come.
I love this time of the day—the one where the light shines in just the right way to make you feel all warm and cozy inside. It’s that moment you know you are home. Except that this isn’t my home/house/abode; it’s the rental we’ve taken over for the next year or two from the gracious owner and why there are still yet-to-be-unpacked boxes stacked about. I keep telling myself It’s just a rental. It’s not yours. But don’t get cocky and not take care of it as it could cost you. Sigh.
You see, I have three b-e-a-utiful kiddos who are very (ahem) active. Choice word knowing that there are nights I lay in bed freaking out. Thinking those horrible thoughts about children falling over the half wall which is a direct drop to the first level. Or one of them tumbling down the three sections of stairs. Or how much painting will need to be done to cover the marks/scratches/dings in the walls of Jaime’s house. I know it is no use worrying as tomorrow has enough worries of its own (Matthew 6:34). But when something isn’t yours and you are on a seriously tight budget, you want to take care of it so you don’t end up paying for damages. In the interim, I’ll do the following (in order) each time I have a freak-out moment: 1) take a BIG deep breath, 2) remind myself that God is in charge, and 3) pray as many times as it takes to calm down and put my focus back on living my life as would be pleasing to the Lord.
I am thankful for those moments like the one I had tonight walking into the foyer. Mind you the kids were with A at Wal-Mart for a quick pick up of items my feeble mind forgot on the last trip. But the house was quiet, the setting sun shone bright through the windows in the stairwell, and for just a second I felt at home and comfortable in a place that was not mine. Proof that God is good. All the time.